soooo back to onederland again : loseit

soooo back to onederland again : loseit
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I first started to lose weight back in February 2019. Initially I was in the 300 mark. I had no idea about macros, calories, high volume low calorie foods, etc.. All I knew is that I put my information on a calculator and it said so only eat 2500 calories. So I would calculate all of my daily calorie intake on a spreadsheet I had made. I would eat cereal, regular milk, toast bread, etc. If I didn’t know the calories of something I was eating I would google it and go with that. Despite still not eating 100% wholefoods… it worked. I was losing weight rather quickly, and as soon as I was starting to slow down I would lower the calorie by 100-200.

My goal when I started this was to lose weight, somewhere down the line my goal changed. I didn’t want to just weight, I wanted to be strong too… because I wanted to get into calisthenics. I always found it fascinating that people are able to control and move their body by pure strength in pretty much anyway you want… obviously still overweight I was kinda limited on what I could do… so I do some basic stuff like pushups, try and fail to do pullups, etc… basic bodyweight stuff. I learned that if you want to build muscle you had to take a good amount of protein, something I wasn’t doing so I have 100-130 grams of protein a day, eating way healthier than when I started.

I don’t remember exactly when it was, but probably around when I hit 195 or under but I noticed my progress had slowed down quite a lot… I was eating 1500-1300 calories a day, running 3 times a week for up to 45-55 minutes without stopping, working out at home, walking the dog and I still wasn’t losing weight. I got depressed, I didn’t understand why I wasn’t losing weight given the amount of crap I was doing on top of my ‘diet’.

I googled and found the culprit… CARBS! those nasty carbs, they are the reason I wasn’t losing weight! Started my short keto journey that involved 15-20 gram of net carbs per day. Surprisingly, I started to lose weight again. Made it ALLLLLLL the way down to 183 pounds. I was very happy, and I was extremely hungry all the frikking time. Food was on my mind 24/7 while going to bed, on my dreams, while waking up, during the day it was all I thought about. I should also note this was during the times where self isolation thing was going on. It didn’t help that my family kept telling me I was starting to look anorexic. Look, I done my research I am not here eating less than 700 calories a day. I still had plenty of fat in my body I could literally touch it. They only see me on the outside, I never had adams apple in my life and it had just appeared WOW!! I wasn’t anorexic, I was just getting fit… but their comments, as well as some form of depression kept building up and then it happened.

I gave in, I was still on my mind doing “keto” eating high fats like avocado, nuts, bacon, etc while eating their junk food “Oh I am fine, I will burn it off when I go for my run” I told myself. Little did I know how wrong I was. When you eat healthy for 15 months, then you introduce shit food without a plan everything goes to shit. You get bloated, you begin to sweat, you feel like crap… and you feel so bad that you stop doing the things that you were able to do, aka running.

I stopped weighing myself on the scale, because I knew the number would only go up and up and I kept telling myself “it’s just water weight bro, it will come off in a week”, nope I was most certainly getting fat specially around my stomach I was starting to swell up again. I was eating for a couple of minutes of happiness and then feeling depressed for the entire day. Kept making excuses of how everything was still good while it wasn’t.

I don’t know why but one day I decided to to step on the scale again, almost 208 pounds. FUCK that hurts, because everything that I had worked towards, which was making me happy and a better person was going to shit. That day I told myself keto might work for other people, but not me I cannot live without eating some food groups so I went back to the drawing board. FUCK restricting food groups and eat what you want. It’s not a diet, it doesn’t come off after 15 months, 15 years, it’s a lifestyle.

After everything I learned I decided what I was going to do. 150-166g protein, 150-166g carbs, 50-80g fats. Around 1900 calories a day. I go for bike rides (low intensity I don’t go super hard as to try and burn off the fat) I workout 4 times a week and I feel fucking great. I eat 4 times a day, each meal is about 400-500 calories. I eat wraps, sometimes bread, sometimes spaghetti, rice etc. I love it I am at a happy place, I don’t feel like I am on a diet, yeah sometimes I eat something “bad” but it’s ALWAYS accounted for and I work my calories around it. I don’t feel like I am on a diet, that’s what everyone in my opinion should be aiming for. You may start a diet but eventually if you are lucky it turns into a lifestyle. I am sorry, but it’s never ending because it turns into a lifestyle. I understand that some days you will be unable to count calories (vacation, holiday, etc) but that doesn’t give a free pass to eat whatever, you can still make smart decisions… pick your protein, your salads, some carbs and there ya go… you can still somewhat guesstimate even without the kitchen scale.

I am no longer hungry, I am losing weight but now I am certain that is FAT that I am losing. I eat low calorie high volume foods, tons of greens. If I feel like eating something ‘bad’ I work around it and eat it not feeling guilty about it. I love it. I wish I would of done this from the start, but I guess this is all a learning experience. If there is something that I want you to take from this, is that you do NOT have to feel hunger when you are losing it. There are ways to eat tons of food, LOW in calorie that keep you satisfied. Make it a part of your lifestyle and enjoy it. That is the end goal.

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