So, some background.
I recently turned 24 this year, and I am 5′ 7″. I have been slightly overweight my entire life, but in high school, I started playing lacrosse and quickly dropped a lot of weight. I was never thin, but my lowest was around 160. Fast forward a few years, with multiple health issues arising and no longer having someone “make” me work out, I gained almost 70 pounds. My heaviest was 226. I had tried over and over to lose weight by changing my diet and by exercising, but nothing ever stuck.
When my fiance and I were at my father-in-law’s house and we used his scale, I was embarrassed by how much I weighed. Not only that, but I then realized how difficult it had become to do, well, ANYTHING active. I could barely walk the dogs without feeling uncomfortable and I felt ashamed, especially because my fiance and I constantly go on hikes, and it was then I realized how bad of a hiking partner I was because I always made him stop since I couldn’t go on. I decided I needed to make a real change in my life, and I knew it was the food. I’m a little bit lazy but I could usually find some motivation to work out.
When I started counting calories AND working out, I finally started seeing weight come off. I can fit into pants I haven’t been able to fit in in years, and I can walk the dogs without getting tired. I’ve lost about 40ish pounds so far and my CW is 183 pounds. I work out for an hour 4-5 times a week (biking, pilates, or weight lifting) and I eat under 1400 calories every day. My job also requires me to chase young (2-5 year old) children around.
I KNOW I’ve lost weight, multiple scales say it, my clothes say it, and my energy says it, but I… I just can’t see it. Honestly, even after taking these after photos I felt like I looked even MORE fat in the after than the befores.
I should also mention that I’ve had disordered thoughts in the past, and unhealthy body image issues that arose from playing sports in high school, because all of my teammates were taller and thinner than me, and I don’t think I’ve ever gotten over it. That could be why I don’t think I actually look different, but I don’t know. If anyone can see some differences, please let me know. This is killing me!