251 days of progress, from 364.8 to 235.0 pounds. : loseit

251 days of progress, from 364.8 to 235.0 pounds. : loseit
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https://imgur.com/a/XP91As6


27/M/6’0.5″/HW:~400(?) SW:365 CW:235 GW:180(?)


The positives:

Started around 400 lbs, which was also my highest weight. Didn’t own a scale then, and if I owned the one I have now, I would have exceeded the weight limit anyway.

Shirt size decreased from 4XL to 2XL! I can buy clothes at regular stores now! Being able to select clothes easily has made me care about styling myself a lot more. I actually get haircuts and care a bit more about my look.

I wear underwear now! Used to run commando all the time because it was too expensive and too hard to find underwear that fit and when I did it was uncomfortable. Not the case anymore.

Glasses upgrade get! Caring about myself one way led to caring about myself another. I have moderate astigmatism in my right eye and my left eye is almost perfect. The strong difference between the two led to strong double vision and inability to focus. I can see now!

My retail job no longer gives me horrible foot pain at the end of the day, my back no longer hurts from sitting down for too long, and I can walk for miles and miles and not feel any exhaustion. Far cry from what I used to be and not being able to walk a quarter mile without breathing hard.

Resting heart rate down 25! Went from ~75 to ~50. Oxygen saturation also went up.

I can fit in places. Just like, everywhere, I fit now. Cars, booths, chairs, around people, around things. I can just sorta… live easily.

My Dad is really happy with me. He had been trying to get me to lose weight for years and now that I have lost so much he’s just so happy to just see me. It’s nice.

People constantly tell me I’m a different person now and are mostly supportive. I even made a friend from riding in an Uber who had a story of his own to share.

My mental acuity is improved. I can just sorta problem solve a little faster. I can think on my feet, literally and figuratively, better.

My spinal discs have decompressed and I’ve gained a respectable half inch or so in height. I can now comfortably say I’m 6’0″, nearly 6’1″.

Feeling full. I used to… always be hungry. Like a bottomless pit. I could eat and eat and eat. Now I just sort of… well I get full and satiated with normal, hell smaller than normal, portions.

I feel better about myself. I haven’t been this way since high school. I’ve always been really heavy. My high school clothes, of what I have left, fit really well.

I have bones and veins. Obviously I did before, but, well now I notice them.

I can look down all the way. Neck fat stopped that before.


The negatives:

Fell into nicotine addiction via vaping. Planning on quitting soon. But I have an odd feeling I’ll succeed. I have good willpower. My weight loss journey forced me to.

My body has improved a lot and gotten smaller in most every regard but it feels like my body shape hasn’t changed yet. It’s a little depressing. I’m not going to lie, attractiveness is a major reason for me to start losing weight, and I don’t think I’ve gained anything in that respect other than my face and how well I take care of myself.

Being unhappy or unsatisfied with slower results. My caloric restriction has been very aggresive. The more weight I lose, and the smaller my stomach gets, the easier time I have with smaller amounts of food, the easier it is to taper off into eating as few as 800 per day, which I’m doing now. I don’t feel very bad doing this, but as I understand it this may be a little unhealthy.

Waiting until now. I’m 27 and it feels like I lost all my young and dumb years to weight. All the girls my age are married or divorced with kids. I still haven’t had my first real girlfriend at all yet. (Have had LDRs online, but that’s just not the same thing tbh.)

Not being able to enjoy food as much. At this point, calories are a burden. I check the nutritional info on everything. If it’s too high or isn’t partitioned well, I avoid it. If it doesn’t have lots of protein and some fiber, I avoid it. Food tastes better but my will to eat for taste alone is drastically lower. Social eating is way harder, and I don’t/can’t/won’t get drunk as much as I kinda wish I could. Even then, unflavored vodka and Sprite zero is the only way I’ll go if I do.

Watching skinny and fit people eat whatever they want is equal parts depressing and motivating. On one hand, if I did that I wouldn’t lose weight and for some reason that sucks. On the other, I’m excited to be normal and enjoy a little tasty something in addition to my normal diet.

I still have a long way to go. It’s humbling to realize that despite the amount of progress I’ve made, I still have so far to go, to be where I want to be. And when I’m there, it’ll probably take surgery to fully realize my vision. If it was a progress bar, I’d be 70% on it at this point, but sometimes you really wish that 30% would just happen already you know.


Methods:

Extreme calorie reduction, begun with 2300 and slowly working my way down with each plateau until my present intake of 800-1100 per day. Occasional 24 to 48 hour water fasts. Hard focus on protein with fiber as secondary goal. Swapping all liquid calories to diet or 0 calorie alternatives. Chewing sugar free gum a lot. Increasing activity level with walking, working my job, Fitness Boxing for the Nintendo Switch, and generally trying to avoid fully sedentary days. Vaping a lot. Having a lot of caffiene. Sleeping too much on bad days and probably not enough on good ones.

Channeling my depression and self-loathing into self-improvement. For a long time, I didn’t do that. I’d escape why I felt that way by any means possible. At some point, it was either commit suicide, eat myself into a heart attack, or do something about it. Getting professional help was not an option to someone without health insurance. While those feelings are still there and really bite me in the ass some days, they’ve improved. And when I feel them, it’s fuel for the fire. I have had 0 cheat days. The few days I’ve fucked it up, I’ve punished myself for it. Though that is not the inspirational or positive way to do things, it’s ultimately kept me on track.

Having some moments to shine in. Clothes have been huge, err… well, getting smaller, lol. Talking to people, taking pictures of myself, getting haircuts, exercising. Making posts like this when I feel bad. When I’m at my worst I try, via whatever non-food means necessary, to reward and remind myself that while I’m not where I want to be, I’m a hell of a lot closer. Sometimes I stare at my smart scale app. It’s kind of inspiring to see so many numbers looking better. I used to be off the chart and negative on literally everything. Now I’ve got into the healthy range for a few things, and I’m close on others. And I’m damn sure on the chart!

Looking forward to the future. Before I started, I effectively had none. Now it’s the focus of all my efforts. Now I have plans and goals, progress made, and every time I look in the mirror I see someone that is, well, way better off than they used to be. Waiting for Tomorrow is a song I’ve listened to a lot more times than I’m willing to admit to. And I dream a lot.

Being… human. I don’t know how to explain it and if tried I might cry. But I feel more human now and that means a lot to me for some silly reason.


Anyways, that’s it from me for now. I just wanted to share because, well, like I said before — doing things like these and talking to people about it makes me feel better when I’m having a bad day and I’m kinda having one today. It’s also nice to fully lay out my journey, even if some of the details are a little embarrassing or whatever. I can’t wait to get a full time job with health insurance and be able to talk to a doctor and get my health properly evaluated for the first time in… 14 years. As the man I am now.



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