Now that I am a few weeks past the halfway point of pregnancy I thought I’d give an update. I had my first in-person doctor’s visit in 2 months at the end of May—the big 20-week ultrasound—and thankfully everything looked good. My tiny boy is measuring on track for a September due date, just like his big brother. Does anyone have kids with the same birthday or very close dates?
For the past month or so, I have been in nesting mode, cleaning and organizing every space I can. I even sorted all of our newborn clothes. I have done deep cleans of our windows, basement, bathrooms, and the new baby’s room. I know I will have to do it all again before the baby comes, but it’s been calming for me to have a project.
I talked about this in my first trimester recap but the nausea during this pregnancy has been intense. I kept expecting it to let up around 13 weeks, like it did with James, but no such luck. It wasn’t until I hit the 20 week mark (the halfway point of pregnancy) that I noticed it coming less frequently. I still occasionally get nauseous, usually in the late afternoons/early evenings, but eating something helps. The new symptom I’m dealing with is acid reflux, which is terrible, but I’m hanging in there.
As for my appetite, well, I’m still feeling insatiable. Strong hunger and strong cravings. A similar thing happened during my pregnancy with James, which is why I gained most of my weight during the first half of the second trimester. And of course, quarantine doesn’t help, especially when food seems to be among the few fun things to plan for and look forward to lately. I’ve gained a significant amount of weight so far. I’m not sure the number exactly because I stopped weighing myself, but I’m not going to let it get me down. This seems to be what my body does during pregnancy—what I do during pregnancy—so I’m choosing not to fight myself or hate myself. I get the gift of a perfect, precious baby at the end of it, and in all honesty, I can say from experience that YES, that gift is worth all the weight and more.
I am so thankful to be pregnant and can’t wait to meet this little guy. James is the greatest joy of my life—just the best thing in the world—and I know this sweet boy will be, too. But…pregnancy takes its toll on me in different ways. Aside from the underlying food issues that it brings up, I have also been struggling with this feeling of claustrophobia. I’m trying to be so cautious because of COVID-19 and potential complications, so I don’t go anywhere. I know that it’s for the best, and of course (of course!) this is such a small and petty issue to even complain about, but it feels like I’m stuck. I look ahead and don’t see my self-isolation ending anytime soon and once the baby arrives, I can’t imagine I’ll be out and about either. I’ll survive but it gets me down.
And last but certainly not least, I’m heartbroken and angry about the state of the world, the horrific injustice, and unbearable pain that the Black community faces every single day. I just can’t stop thinking about all the pain and suffering so I’m working on channeling that into something actionable and useful (no one needs to hear how sad I am about this). I’m trying to listen, learn, and share resources for deep learning, allyship, how to take action, and how to offer real support. I’m sharing all that I find on Instagram Stories, if you want to check in there.
My goals for the rest of the second trimester are to try to find greater peace with being at home. I’d like to get outside and walk around the neighborhood more. I’d like to find a remedy that works for my acid reflux. Otherwise I am just going to keep preparing the house for our new little guy and looking forward to the fall.
I love all of you, thank you for following along. I will keep the updates coming for those who are interested.