I just need to talk here because I feel proud of myself for so much and haven’t had the space to talk about it to people in my life.
June 13th 2018 I weighed 210lbs, and I thought. This is it. This is where I draw the line. From that day on until Febuary 26th 2019 I lost the weight and was my lowest ever weight of 156.8lbs. (I’m 5’7)
Then over several months I developed severe binge eating disorder with Bulimic tendencies and gained the weight back, sitting at 191lbs October 31st. I was devastated. I wanted nothing more than to crawl under a hole and never be seen in public again.
I got off the scale and decided to start all over again. This time, however, I switched my mentality. I began to focus more on losing weight not because I HATE my body, but because I LOVE my body. I took up exercising to complement my diet and found the simple act of walking/running to be super fun.
So that’s what I did. I started off small. 5,000 steps. Then 7500. Then 10,000. Then 15,000. Now I can get between 15-25,000 steps in a day. And this wasn’t something I did primarily to be at a deficit. No, my diet was doing that for me already. I kept my calories ranging from 1200-1500 calories so excercise wasn’t the main thing that made me lose weight. Instead, it was a way for me to take little slices of time at the gym to be by myself, reorient my thoughts, and reaffirm my goals. My own personal form of meditation.
So, today is Febuary 27th 2020. One year and one day later.
This is what I’ve accomplished so far. I have:
Lost 32 of those 35 pounds, weighing 159 as of today.
Been binge free for 121 days.
Been purge free for 130 days.
The ability to run at a sustained pace of 7MPH.
The ability to climb several flights of stairs without being out of breath.
Burned 25,000+ calories on the treadmill at my gym alone (I put my weight at 135lbs to underestimate since the beginning since they’re known for being inaccurate)
Entered the healthy BMI range.
A love for myself and my body, both old and new.
Nothing, and I repeat, NOTHING tastes as good as this feels.
So if you’re thinking of losing weight. If you lost weight before and gained some/ it all back. This is it. This is your sign.
Do the damn thing. Take that step. You won’t regret it.