Progress pics: https://imgur.com/a/JTCpUT0
For over 10 years I’ve lied to myself, without even knowing it. Gotten emotionally addicted to unhealthy habits, unable to step back and see that I’m not what I desire. Tried plugging square holes with round pegs. Bought, ate, and drank to soothe my problems rather than address them.
It took an increase in anxiety to the point I feared my house could get robbed any given night. Obtained a concealed carry permit and started carrying a firearm. Drank several mixed whiskey drinks every night (never while carrying; I was still being responsible in that respect) which only made anxiety worse when I wasn’t buzzed or drunk. Had constant fearful nightmares at night.
Then I actually started exercising in hopes to slim down, because a chunky fella carrying a pistol for protection is pretty lame. Figured I’ll lose weight and then start a martial arts class and learn to defend myself so that my firearm might (hopefully never) be needed to save my life.
Well, the exercise started clearing the gunk out of my mind. I started taking CBD as well, as I felt that helped with the anxiety I’d face when wanting to drink. Getting off alcohol, the nightmares and fears started going away. I realized I do have control. That I was convincing myself into nonexistent situations and realities. Making excuses and getting defensive to protect my sources of comfort. No longer.
I’m now running three to four 5Ks per week at the gym (winter here), been successful in intermittent fasting for several months (14-18 hours fast, 6-10 hours feeding window), along with CICO, and have been practicing mindfulness and awareness through guided meditation which has been profound in maintaining healthy habits, studying myself, and much more. Side note, I urge everyone reading this to check out Sam Harris’ app “Waking Up”. If you can’t afford it after the trial, email their support and you automatically get a free account for a year. Anyway, I digress.
I’ve learned a ton. Here’s what comes to mind primarily:
We are not our thoughts, emotions, or the events that happen to us–those things exist in our field of consciousness and sensory perception.
Our bodies are incredibly adaptable, they just need training, with consistency and discipline.
Our mind and bodies crave a challenge, and love overcoming it.
Once you become aware of the program, you no longer have to be the program. You will change and no longer crave what you’ve replaced with healthy measures to achieve those
Food and habits are emotionally addicting.
Boredom is good. Eliminate your options for distractions and once you get bored you’ll fill the time with a new skill or productive activity, including exercise. For too long I distracted myself with screens rather than giving myself time to think.
For the first time I feel I’m locked into healthy habits, I crave them, and will continue dropping pounds and building strength, as well as learning new skills. The martial arts classes are still the next goal. I just don’t feel the need to carry a gun anymore in the meantime.
Looking forward to continuing on with this sub’s resources and support. Thanks for taking the time to entertain my thoughts.